I am just not ready for another relationship ir even going back with Ajib. He has been asking me about stuff and how I've been without him. The truth is I've never been better. I took time to think about myself and only me and no one else matter for that particular moment. My sister had asked me to try get back with Ajib and try to work things out again. But I don't want to. I know myself that I will make mistakes and hurt him. Ajib don't deserve that from me. He deserve to be respected by someone better. Which is not me. After Ajib, I do have fallen for some guys. Fallen deep enough at times. I simply can't help myself it's just feelings. There were Zack Afron, Mr English,Mr brightside and Lil sweet heart. 3 out of them are still my friends whereas one is a normal ass guy who don't really admit to reality. Reality do hit me hard cause I live for the present and earns to see the future. I wouln't want to hold on to my past or their past. Like I've said I am your love,hate and your nightmare. You can't escape from that. I do am capable of many things. I've clicked with this particular person which I highly respect for his views and opinions about life. The way he open up my eyes to see that the world do see what we do and religiously made me realise to believe more on faith. The things that he said do make sense and makes me wonder that his gf is truly lucky to have this particular guy and I hope things do work up between you guys. Iam pretty sure that what he is going through with his gh is just a phase of life and relationship. Be strong my friend. Iam here to hear all you troubles and wipe your tears away. Even though it hurts to see you be happy with your gf but sincerely my feelings for you I put aside. I don't want to be a relationship wrecker. Damn. I am will always be that friend in need. Someone at work has been pretty caught up with his own gf too. Hannan in particular. Everytime I go on a smoke break with him, He always have something to share with me. In what I do best, I just listen and give out advice at certain times. I have faith in life and I am waiting for my future to turn out partially perfect in my eyes.

Moving along now, Later I will head down to wcp with my family for a bright sunday morning picnic with cuzzies and lil nephews from mum's side. So shades on! it's gonna be hot out there. In the afternoon is sentosa with the bel dudes and sheila. I think I am not gonna swim later. I need sun! I want my skin to bronze up. Been in the office all day long has been making me look pale and none bronzy! I hate that. I need some glow! hahah. Been watching Kyle XY lately through youtube. I love it! :)

To mr brightside, *hugs*