That's Hawe. This picture was taken before all the drama started.

Greetings. I'm still feel like 2009 rather then 2010. 2 more weeks at ntuc income and i'm taking a break if they don't offer to extend my contract.

How did you guys celebrate your new year? At some point that day when the drama started, I wish i was at home with my two kittys watching tv. I really wish I wasn't there. Drama strama. Yadayadayada. I didn't even had a proper countdown. Head back to bb and slept at his hse. Fckin tired that day. Well no one really cared that I work and had only a few hours of rest.

Fckedup.

I finish reading the trilogy of laksmana sunan. I really wish I had a boyfriend like him. Taat kepade yg maha esah. Okay, i know it sounded strange and mcm phm coming from me but ramlee awang murhid's books are what i call "my life calling". Gemok will be like "yeah right" to me if he reads this but who cares. Mum always had faith in me rather then those people out there. Everytime i read a book from ramlee i feel ashamed in a sense that org lalai hidup dalam dunia ini. Aku mengaku that i do neglect him in this world. I know if gemok or anyone else don't care or says bad things about me and my past, I feel damned by them but i still have mum to turn to. She has always been an encouraging support to me. Giving me answers which I never knew.

I felt damned by you. You that I called my everything. But you said " I don't care what you want to do any more". And so I shall do things at my own sweet time. I know she was better, prettier, have a more sense of respect to you but I'm me not her.

Now I can officially say, I'm ready for 2010. Ready to end my TEEN years with a little blast of my own and of cause everything I do mesti direstui oleh my mum. She said " syura kau masih muda and mak tk nk pasal berkwn(relationship) kau tk dapat rasa zaman remaja kau, tu pasal kwn berpada-pada".

That's why I feel like a 30 yr old stuck at home wife.